Overwhelmed

What I neglected to mention here is that my dear hubby was out of town for the last 10 days... and for a less-than-fun 3 day work weekend before that with just 1.5 days between trips. (It didn't seem like the brightest idea to broadcast over the internet.) Between that, our expanded therapy schedule and an inadvertent excess of parent therapy hours, I've been alternating between barely afloat and totally drowning.

This is not a good thing. And it leads to some really dumb mistakes. For instance, I royally screwed up our funding. No, make that ROYALLY. The amount we have to pay is significantly higher and not sustainable. I think/hope we have another option or two but here we go again down that waiting road. And now it's even more critical. Add a few hours a week to my schedule to try to get that figured out. And add in a few extra doses of stress all around.

And I planned to take my big boy to the circus tomorrow. Actually a friend planned it and we were all going together. It has been on my calendar for a long time. I even checked with a sitter in case my man was still traveling. I made a hair appointment for today (not an indulgence, mind you - it's been over 3 months). I sent an email to my friend saying I'd see her tomorrow. We were all set. Until my friend called TODAY and asked where we were. Yep, the circus was today - not tomorrow. I spent a total of 3 hours or so on the phone begging to exchange our tickets for tomorrow's (still not nearly sold out) show. No-go. Flush some more money down the drain. Luckily, I don't think my boy knows enough of what he's missing so we can just do something else "fun" tomorrow instead. But I know. And I'm mad at myself for being so absent minded.

I'm stressed. I'm overwhelmed. And this too is not sustainable. My parents are visiting soon. That will help give me a break. Also, we qualified for 4 hours per day of PCA (personal care assistant) services for B. That too will help. But again, it's not going to happen overnight. There's a lot of paperwork, recruiting, interviewing etc. to be done first. And then there's the issue of funding which may be changing. I should've gotten this set up first but I don't know that it was even an option. There is nothing close to a manual out there to figure this all out.

So, I had a long afternoon hair appointment where I dwelled and pouted about my circus snafu and came home to a clean house, a full refrigerator and meals planned for the next few days. My hubby's job was to watch the boys - I asked nothing more. Instead, he took both of them to costco and the grocery store (no easy task, mind you), planned my favorite dinners (which he cooks) and stocked us up for a couple of days. On the heels of a very exhausting work trip. I think you can all agree that I have a good, good man.

I'm going to try to be less overwhelmed now. My partner in crime is back and life is good. It's not easy, it's not fair, but it's good. And this too shall pass.