Firsts

 

When your child can't communicate, you have a lot of "firsts" and they all feel as monumental as the first day of preschool or the first time you are away from each other - the first time you trust someone other than yourself to care for your baby. I know - he's almost a teenager but it doesn't get easier. If anything, it's harder the older he gets. I am used to being his voice and his advocate and anticipating his needs. And he's unbelievably awesome but he does comes with some challenges. I want other people to see the awesome - not the challenges. I want them to know him like I do and to care for him and protect him and really SEE him.

Today was a big first. He went in-person to 7th grade. Brand new school for him where he doesn't know anyone and they don't know him. And he has been home since March 13th. Almost SEVEN entire months where he has not left our sides. No separation. No independence. When you factor in a a scary health pandemic, it was more than a little nerve-wracking to let him go. 

But this kid - this amazing Rockstar of a kid walked straight into school without looking back. He slapped on a mask and acted as if he'd been doing this every day of his life. SO Brave. So incredibly resilient. I don't know how he does it - how do you face a world that doesn't understand you? I don't think I could. And he didn't just face it - he rocked it!  He came home with the biggest smile - full of  giggles and JOY.

It's strange and a little hard not knowing what he did all day after all this time together. I'm paranoid and overprotective and I guess I need to work on getting over that because there are no limits to what this young man can do. I am learning. He teaches me every day. Every single day. More than I could ever dream of teaching him.