Carefree

At 3:00 this morning, I heard one of the kids in the monitor. Seems like we should be past baby monitors at age 5 and 6 but their rooms are a floor below us and I'm paranoid. I get a lot less sleep because of them. It wasn't a frantic "MOM" so I knew it was B. He has never, in 5 years, called out for me - not even when he's sick or hurt. I wonder if he ever will. What I heard instead was laughter - deep, belly laughter. I didn't listen for long but I know from experience that it would go on for as long as an hour or two. B was having a little party in there. In his bed. Completely by himself. Blissfully happy. This is B in a nutshell. This is what he does when he is alone in his head.

This is one of the differences between B and the rest of us. It's one that actually makes me a little envious. When I wake up in the middle of the night - it's not laughter that keeps me awake. It's the endless list of worries and anxieties and stress. Even at the young age of 6, my older son has his fair share of worries, anxieties and fears. And as adults, we spend far too much of our time on them. Not B. When left to his own devices, he doesn't have a care in the world. He's honestly the happiest kid you'll ever meet. I've been told this on numerous occasions by a variety of people... most recently by the guy checking our bags at the airport. He literally cracks himself up. And oh that giggle. I've said it before but it is the most infectious thing you'll ever hear. If there is an upside to Autism, this is it. At least in our case. Autism can take many forms - aggression, self injurious behavior, isolation, depression etc. I am thankful everyday that for us it manifests itself in this way. One blissfully happy kid with an amazing smile, an amazing laugh and immeasurable joy.