"If you've met one child with autism, then you've met ONE child with autism". Or something to that effect. I'm not sure where the quote originates but it has really resonated with me ever since we started down this path. Autism is a spectrum disorder and the spectrum is very, very broad. It's actually rather astounding how vastly different kids with the same diagnosis can look/act.
Not surprisingly, Autism has a complex set of criteria. These are the 3 primary categories and then there are 4 subcategories within each one (which I won't list here):
1) Qualitative impairment in social interaction
2) Qualitative impairments in communication
3) Restricted, repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities
Autism takes many forms. I'm sure it will continuously evolve for us, but for now - this is what it looks like for B and our family:
The most significant impairment for B is language. It has always been the one thing that we were concerned about and it's still the biggest gap and biggest problem. The older he gets, the more obviously he's behind. It's the area we hope to see the most progress. It's what keeps me up at night. And it's what bothers me the most. I *think* I can handle it if B maintains a lot of autistic traits but I don't know that I can take it if he doesn't learn to talk.
Socially, he is also behind but not as obviously. He is a little love bug. He loves to be held and rocked and snuggled. He will sit on my lap and watch a show or movie for long periods of time. He wants to be around people and he smiles and laughs but doesn't know exactly how to interact in a play situation with other kids.
As for stereotyped patterns of behavior, he seems to be developing more and more all the time. As much as he is progressing in therapy, the autism is also progressing. This is probably the area where it is most obvious. We have a LOT of bouncing and jumping, some flapping, occasional tip-toe walking and stereotypical gibberish language and laughter. He is also OBSESSED with Thomas the train but this one doesn't really bother me. We are parents to another little boy who is equally (if not more so) obsessed with cars and he is neuro-typical in every way.
And here are some of the more common autism characteristics that B just doesn't seem to have at all:
1) Behavioral problems. B continues to be the easier of our kids... even without the ability to communicate verbally. Every time I think he is developing some negative behaviors, they disappear rather quickly. Case in point - he is back to LOVING the bath. He even tried to climb in before he had his clothes off the other night. Did I mention that it took 9 months for his big brother to get over it?
He also insisted on being carried and refused to walk into big brother's school a couple of times recently. That too went away. No sooner do I voice a concern than he just moves on from it. He does cry and tantrum in therapy. But let me fill you in on what that typically looks like. Imagine being comfy in your favorite chair and watching your favorite show. Someone pauses the show and tells you to get up and do something. Would you be happy? For the most part, he will jump right up now without a peep. I'm pretty sure most kids wouldn't. I know I wouldn't. He is far more compliant than your typical 3-year old. For this alone, I believe we are extremely fortunate. Again, this could change. I hope we don't get a case of the terrible 2s when he catches up developmentally. I can't imagine what could be worse than 2 year old behavior from a much older and bigger child.
2) Sensory issues. Most kids on the spectrum have some sort of sensory problems: sensitive to sounds, touch or a myriad of other symptoms. I still haven't really found any in B. He may crave touch more or be sensory seeking so-to-speak. I'm not sure. In any case, it doesn't seem to be affecting his life thus far.
All in all, he's a sweet, good boy. He just happens to be a lot more like a 1.5 or 2 year old than an almost 3.5 year old.
And he's still rocking it in therapy. He had his highest acquisition rate ever this past week. He's basically knocking it out of the park on a daily basis and having fun doing it. Stay tuned.
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