Under the weather

Poor little B has been sick. It's always hard when your little one is suffering. What makes it particularly hard with B though is deciding whether or not he is fighting therapy because he doesn't feel well or if he just doesn't want to cooperate. It's tough to be black and white with this one.

On Monday, he seemed perfectly normal when I left to take big brother to get a cavity filled and for our "mommy date". When we came home around 12:30, B was asleep on the babysitter with a 101 temp. So, he got a nap and some motrin and the afternoon "off" from therapy. When he woke up, he was fine and ate a normal dinner etc. But around 6 pm, he just wanted to snuggle and ended up falling asleep in my arms for another 45 minute nap. We canceled his next morning therapy session but kept the afternoon one from 2:15 - 6 on schedule. He struggled through it but not really any more than a lot of his sessions.

And that brings us to today. I had to wake him at 8:15 (really late for him) and he was clingy but had no fever or symptoms. I was worried to leave him but gave him a dose of motrin to be on the safe side and headed out. I called after an hour and was told he was doing okay. Needless to say, I was really anxious to see him when we came home at 1. Unfortunately, he was crying in the basement when we came in so I had to refrain. For almost an hour, I listened to him sob. We made lunch and a batch of cupcakes and tried to be distracted. Finally, I could take it no longer and went downstairs to check on him. He snuggled in immediately. And immediately, he was able to pull it together. So who knows? Maybe he still felt kind of crummy. Or maybe he felt fine but just didn't want to "work". I really can't blame him. I ended up sitting with him in the rocking chair and he fell asleep for 1.5 hours and missed the first half of his last therapy session. It was nice to be able to baby him a little. It's just so hard to know what to do - when is it okay to baby him and when is it a disservice to his progress in therapy?

This is a really tough one for me. When big brother is sick (even with just a runny nose), he typically lays on the couch all day and gets to eat and watch whatever he wants. B-man is no longer afforded the same luxury. B also has always been so much more of a trooper when he doesn't feel well. Last year, we flew to Texas and spent over a week there only to find out AFTER we came back that B had a double ear infection. This is one of those times that I really, really wish he could just TELL me how he feels so I don't make the wrong decision and push him too hard. Nevertheless, I guess I'll swallow my mommy guilt for now and hope he is 100% tomorrow. And I hope that someday he'll understand how much I wish I could make everything easier for him.