In just a few short days, our little B-man is starting first grade. He'll go 3 days a week for the first month and have a little bit of therapy on his off days. And then he goes full-time and the therapy fades out over the next 2 months. After 4 years of full-time therapy in our home, it's a whole new world for him and for our family. And frankly I'm terrified. I remember when I first dropped my kiddos off at a Friday Morning Out program. They were not quite 2 and 3 and it was the first time I formally separated from them. And I was nervous, worried and apprehensive to be away from my babies. It was tough. But we did it! Everyone was okay.
Here we are now 5 years later with more parenting experience under our belts, more of an understanding of our kiddos and in B's case, his special needs. Not to mention we have MUCH bigger, older, less fragile little people. So this should be easier, right? I've been down this road... I eased in to part-time preschool, then half-day kindergarten and last year, the real deal: first grade with our older son. And sure it's hard for any parent to let em go as they start to gain their independence.
But this. THIS is so much harder. Because truly there is no one quite like B. I honestly believe that. For six and a half years, he has been under my wing. I am almost always with him and if I'm not, I know exactly what he's doing and I know the people he is with. I know what challenges he might face and I know how it will be handled. I have been trained to do all of the same programs with him. I get it. And we've created an environment where we celebrate him constantly. It's a bit of a bubble, yes, but here we focus on all that he can do and every single day he has cheerleaders. His therapists are the closest thing he has to friends. They are his buddies. They know how to play with him. They can understand (most) of what he says. A lot of them have gotten very attached to my sweet little boy. He is loved. Their boundaries are different than what I expect them to be in school. He gets hugs, piggy backs, snuggles, tickles and lots of physical attention that I don't see being equal at school. How can we take that away from him? This bubble is a lot easier than when we take him out in the "real" world and see how others react to him and how different he really is. Are they going to see the real B at school? Will they appreciate how special he is?
What he doesn't get at home though is other kids. And, let's face it, reality. There is a whole world out there that he is itching to experience. That part I think he'll love. Here's a kid who gets excited to go no matter where it is: the Dr., an errand with mom, dropping his brother off at school. As the other kids would march in to battle with solemn faces at the elementary school, B would skip in with absolute glee - singing. A couple of times last year, he cried when we left for the parking lot. On that front, he is more than ready. He has spent way too much time confined to this house. I am excited for him to get to experience what other kids his age experience.
B is ready. And I will get there. Just like 4 years ago, we are jumping in with both feet. So if you see me next week (or let's face it anytime next year), I will be the mom beaming with pride and blinking back my tears. Look out first grade - here we come!
